Okay… today will be the day when I introduce you to the next symbol of Emiko.  I don’t really like to write about myself. But I think this is a good opportunity for me to understand myself better. And I hope at least someone think it’s interesting to read about me? Any way… Last time I wrote about music. This time I will write about… the pencil.

Actually it was an accident that I started to take writing classes. It all started in high school. I didn’t like my English class. I decided to quit. My sensei* told me a lot of personal things about her. Like how she wished that she could just quit like I was about to do. It was when she was about to cry that I said that I just can’t do things that I’m uncomfortable with. I can’t be that mean towards myself. She understood me very well and allowed me to quit. She asked me what I wanted to do instead of English.

- I want to try writing. I want to see if I have any talent.

Sensei was surprised. I wasn’t really comfortable with her reaction. Any way… If I didn’t have quit my English class, I would never open up my eyes for writing at all. I’m grateful that I get that opportunity. That I became to understand how much fun writing is. I became to understand things that I usually didn’t. I started to think in a new way. I started to be a new person, a new and strong person.

From the beginning I wasn’t really comfortable to show my work in public. I guess you can say I was very shy. Ha-ha… Now when I think of it I understand that I was a fool who didn’t enjoyed the performances more. Back then I just wanted to write and that’s it, not read them out loud in public. Well, well that’s in the past. 

I don’t know what I had been if I didn’t start to write. To hold a pen and have a paper in front of me… wow… It’s like a new world papers in front of my eyes! When I hold the pen is it me who’s the creator. No one can tell me what I write is wrong. Some people create magical music by the piano, other sing wonderful and some people paint pictures like goddess.

We all have something we love. We all have something we never ever want to get rid of.

I enjoy writing.
I simply love it.
And even if I’m not a famous novelist I will do my very best.

If I only look forward and compare me with myself how I was yesterday
would I be a better writer then?

I write because I love it
and if I'm bad, even really bad.
It doesn’t matter to me.

This is how I am.
As long as I love what I do
I will never quit

I will do my very best. I will never lose my feelings towards the pencil. It gave me a chance to find myself. If someone someday tells me that I have no longer the right to write. That I’m not good enough, I would simply agree. I am not as good as other writers, I know it. But hey… I’m not them and they are not like me! I’m one hell of a writer in my own world!

If my English sensei would ask me if I have found my answer yet, if I had any talent in writing or not I should smile and tell her this.  

I don’t think you can have any talent in writing. What you write reflects what you are and what you think it’s important. And to say that you don’t have any talent in writing is like to criticize your entire existents. Writing is about feelings not if you’re talented or not.

From:

To:

Sayonara*! The time of the pencil has finaly come! ^-^

*Teatcher
*Farewell